Dear John, in this case Amelia
It’s not you, it’s me.
My tattoos are causing quite a buzz in the bay area. Your art is to be admired. I’ve been asked on several occasions by people with awe and longing in the their eyes, “where did you have that done?” When I tell them Minnesota the tears stream from their eyes, loud moaning cries are heard for days and I have become the grim reaper of their nightmares.
People living in Wisconsin can not cross the boarder over to Minnesota, for fear of …..for fear of……… oh heck, I don’t know…..Wisconsin natives are interesting. For this reason and this reason only I am sacrificing for the sake of getting the world inked. Or, at the very least getting some middle aged whiteys to come over to the dark side. I have felt for days the pains of cheating on you and today is the day I have decided to come clean. By the time you read this I will have already consulted with someone new. It’s not you, it’s me.
I can’t take another second of the devastation and sorrow of everyone surrounding me needing ink now but unwilling to drive 6 hours.
I know there will never be another you. Since you are unwilling to pack up your entire life so that I can have just one more tattoo I have no choice….. So maybe after all it is you and not me.
I will always be thankful for the time we did have together. Your art has made my pasty white skin an alive beautiful canvas that has opened up so many opportunities for rich conversations with others I may not have had otherwise.
I pray you recover quickly from what I anticipate is the worst moment of your entire life, losing me. I am sincerely sorry.